I went for lunch at the Yale with a friend, and we had an incredibly honest conversation, it was amazing to be able to hear honestly about how he was doing. We used to do that quite often, but it had been a while, a I realized how much I missed that. He had been struggling lately, but really not wanting to admit that he was, now he was facing some trouble with the law again, and his probation was in breech. We had a great discussion about what to do, and how to own up to his mistakes and we talked about howto walk through some of the troubles he was going to face.
After lunch I went to pay and realized that I didn’t have any cash on me! I felt horrible, and asked the lady if I could run over to Mount Carmel Clinic to the ATM to get some money…she said that was fine…I could pay her back next time (sometimes I am amazed at the trust in the North End!). I said I would be right back with the money.
We walked over to Mt. Carmel, and when we got there we noticed a very intoxicated man who had a bike rigged up with lots of bags, and about 7-8 layers of clothing on, all very dirty…all signs that he had been sleeping on the streets. He was speaking very animatedly to a security guard outside the clinic. The guard looked a little troubled by the conversation, but the man seemed harmless to me, so we went inside and got some money from the machine.
When we came out I interrupted the conversation between the intoxicated man and the security guard to say hello, I asked how he was doing. He talked about sleeping on the streets the last while and how he had been very cold. “It has been very cold lately,” I said. The security guard was antsy, and I could tell he wanted the man to leave, so I asked him if he would come walk with me over to the Yale. The man said yes and started to come with us, but then turned back at the security guard and said, “but I am not finished with him yet!” I tried to convince him to come, but he wasn’t, he said to the security guard, “I am going to hurt you!” “C”MON,” I said, “You don’t have to talk like that!” He persisted, “I am going to cut you open and have you for a BBQ!” he said in his slurred tones. “ENOUGH of that,” I said, “come with me, I will buy you a burger at the Yale.” “But I’m not finished with him yet,” he muttered. “Go with the man,” the security guard said, “he will buy you a burger.”
After more ridiculous (and horrifying) threats, he started to get his stuff together to come with us, Don pulled me aside and said, “Trevor, are you sure you want to do this?” in a nervous tone. “It’ll be fine,” I said. We walked over to the Yale, as I carried a couple of his bags and Daniel (the man’s name) pushed his bike along. I found myself trying to hold the bags away from my legs as I walked, unsure about what contaminating substance might be on them! We got to the Yale and I put down his bags outside and said, “why don’t you wait out here while I get a burger?” We went inside, paid our bill and ordered another burger.
When I went outside to give Daniel his burger I hoped the whole episode would be over. He said, “thanks,” then tears started to well up in his eyes, “My mother passed away today, ” he blubbered. I was so done with him, and I couldn’t tell if this was actually what happened today, or if his intoxicated state was bringing him back to that time and place. “I’m really sorry to hear that,” I said. I could tell he wanted to talk some more, but I was getting uneasy and ready to move on. I said, “Can I pray for you?” a Pastor’s go-to when wanting to be done the conversation. I did, I put my hand on Daniels shoulder and stood in front of the Yale and prayed for Daniel, and the passing of his Mom, for the hope that he could have in Jesus, and said “Amen.” He also said, “Amen,” and thanked me for the prayer.
Daniel leaned over to give me a hug. I could smell the smell of alcohol, tobacco, B.O. and dirty clothes mingled together as I hesitantly returned the hug, “Goodbye,” I said, as I walked away. I felt as though what I should have done, was not done – which is who knows what, but I walked away anyway. Daniel was muttering something, I’m not sure what it was, but I imagined him mumbling, “Oh you Christians, all you do is try to get rid of people like me, screw all of you and your God too if that’s the way his followers treat me, I need some help, my Mom, she just died! Help me!”
As we walked away my friend shared with me how impressed he was with me and how I handled this, this was a street hardened young man who was scared while I was calm. However, I did not receive his compliments well, I was racked with guilt over not responding when I should have.