A friend of mine came to Grace Point a while back, he always comes by. He’s a good friend, and fun to be around. I know he struggles with some addictions, but he rarely asks for money or anything…instead he panhandles at the corner of Higgins and Main.
One day, he said he was in big trouble. His rent money was stolen, and he didn’t have anything for rent. He was living in a bit of a strange situation, and he knew he would be kicked out if he didn’t have anything. I wrestled with this for a long time, and eventually called some friends. Together, could we come up with the $300 to pay his rent? Yes, that wouldn’t be that hard, but is it the right decision? I mean, he gets about $800 a month to live on, so it’s not like he’s rolling in cash anyway. When’s the last time I lived on $800 a month? Probably in High School when I worked at a Domo gas bar…
In the end I collected the money, and we paid his rent. He was extremely grateful, and couldn’t stop saying thank you…and…he could keep living where he was.
Throughout the next month, I could just tell that he was not doing well. Things were not good with his roommate, and he was clearly struggling hard with his addiction.
At the end of the next month he came to me again with another story about how his rent money had disappeared, and asking if we would be able to help him out again.
This time I didn’t wrestle with it as hard, but it still was kind of unimaginable to feel like I was putting someone out on the streets! However, I decided not to pay his rent.
The next week was horrible. He greeted me at the door of the church every morning first thing, and stayed all day. He had all his stuff with him, and he told me he was sleeping in the park across from the street. This was obviously not a good situation! He told me that Main Street Project wasn’t good because they were packed in there, and you had to sleep with your head on your backpack, so that no one would steal it in the night.
That week seemed like an eternity, as I carried the weight of his homelessness.
Turns out it was a good decision, and maybe that paying his rent in the first place was a bad decision to begin with.
One day he said to me, “I can’t keep living like this, can you take me to detox?” I couldn’t hold my excitement in, and jumped at the opportunity to help him sort himself out. It took a couple of days to get in (I should get in to the process of getting into treatment at another time!), but eventually he was there. I got to go see it with him, and tour the small facility and see where he would be for the next ten days.
Relief came over me, when I was able to drop him off and he said he was ready to make some big changes in his life.
He would eventually leave detox and move on to a treatment facility, it seems like his life is headed in a good direction!
This all left me with the question, “was it right to pay his rent in the first place?”
I am not sure about the answer to that question, I guess I believe it is always good to respond with compassion, but sometimes our compassionate giving doesn’t have it’s intended result.